


The Black Shielder

by RainEStar3



Category: Sword Art Online (Anime & Manga), 痛いのは嫌なので防御力に極振りしたいと思います。| BOFURI: I Don't Want to Get Hurt so I'll Max Out My Defense. (Anime)
Genre: Absurd, Comedy, Crack, Crack Crossover, Cross-Posted on FanFiction.Net, Crossover, Friendship, Gen, Humor, Not-so-secretly Overpowered, Parody, Science Fiction, Virtual Reality
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-05
Updated: 2020-12-28
Packaged: 2021-03-04 22:20:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,785
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25093771
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RainEStar3/pseuds/RainEStar3
Summary: Maple was exploring NewWorld Online. Then she found herself in Aincrad. She proceeds to defy all gamer logic as she shows why investing entirely into Vitality is not a noob mistake.
Comments: 93
Kudos: 168





	1. Illfang Arc: Part 1

Maple was humming a merry tune as she sauntered through the beautiful forest. She was in great spirits. Her best friend Sally was going to be joining her soon. Unfortunately, it wouldn't be that very day. Despite Sally scoring high enough on their exams to have her parents lift her ban from gaming, she had to make an effort of showing that she was still taking studying seriously. Thus, Maple would have to wait another day before she could get back to her full gaming lifestyle.

So why was Maple in such a good mood?

Simple. Just the thought of playing with Sally tomorrow brought a smile to her face and a spring in her step.

Maple was a rather simple person. She enjoyed the sights and sounds of the beautiful forest. Gentle light filtering through a leafy canopy. The soft clank of her armor every time she took a step. The horde of monsters attacking her from all sides. The pleasant sounds of forest critters going about their way. The sounds of creatures crashing against Maple's new shield and promptly being devoured by it while screaming in terror. The smell of growing wood and forest plants. The odor of poison being constantly wasted on Maple's immune body.

"It's such a beautiful day!" Maple declared, spreading out her arms and swinging her body around. The suddenness of her turn resulted in her shield slamming against every monster surrounding her. With a chorus of deathly wails, the monsters were devoured by her shield, which gave a small burp afterwards.

"Hm?" Maple said, looking around. "I thought I heard something." Seeing nothing, she went back to humming and going about her merry way.

Who was this person who could rip through a horde of monsters without even giving them a passing glance? Maple, a player new to the game of NewWorld Online, a Virtual Reality Massive Multiplayer Online Role Playing Game, or VRMMORPG for short. Despite being entirely new to games in general, she had managed to go from starter gear straight to a unique armor set in less than a week.

How? You may ask.

She beat a boss monster that normally requires an entire party to beat, and she did it solo.

How? You may ask again.

She ate it.

…

No, I'm serious. She sank her teeth into the boss's flesh and ate enough chunks of it to drain its health to nothing.

She may look unassuming, with her short black hair, small ahoge, and cheerfully innocent expression crafting the perfect image of a cute, harmless little girl. But make no mistake. That black and red armor and shield set were earned through the actions of a deadly, unpredictable fighter. And this was only the start of her journey. With her unique outlook (and a supreme amount of unnatural luck) it was only a matter of time before she got swept up in a series of misadventures that would give her the opportunity to become a monster in human flesh.

Speaking of which, that should be happening right about…

Now.

"What's this?" Maple said suddenly, coming to a stop at the front of a large cave. She had not seen the cave before in this part of the forest, nor had she notice it as she had walked. It was as if the cave had suddenly sprung from the ground in front of her.

Or, she had been only looking around her and not paying attention to where she was going. Take your pick.

The cave entrance was made of smooth, greyish-brown rock. From the light that pierced the entrance of the cave's mouth, Maple could see the tunnel steadily descend downward into an indiscernible abyss of darkness.

"It looks like something scary might be hiding down there." Contrary to her words, Maple was anything but scared. In fact, an excited smile broke out across her face as she stared hungrily into the cave's open maw. Without a second thought, she strolled into the cave. "Maybe I'll find another Hydra," she said as the shadows enveloped her body. "Hopefully it tastes better than the last one."

Had she looked behind her, she would have noticed the light of the forest be mysteriously swallowed up as shadows coalesced around the cavern's opening. However, Maple's attention was fixated in front of her, searching for some form of light. Despite no obvious source of illumination, the cavern was dimly lit enough for her to barely see her way in. Several more steps down into the depths, Maple finally saw small flickering lights lining up against a stone wall.

"Perfect!" she exclaimed as she ran over to the wall. Well, attempted to run.

Maple had decided early into her gaming experience that she hated taking damage. Because of this, she invested all of her initial stats into Vitality, to increase her defenses and take virtually no damage from attacks. Then, as she gained levels, she persisted in dumping every single one of her stat points into Vitality. As a result, her Agility stat was nonexistent. Running, swimming, quick reactions, all of these were impossible due to Maple's unconventional min-maxing strategy.

When Maple finally arrived at the wall, she found a series of evenly spaced torches along the wall. "Maybe these lead to the boss room?" she wondered aloud. Deciding she had nothing better to do, she followed the line of torches, humming happily despite the earie doom and gloom of her surroundings.

"Grraugh!"

"Hm?" Upon hearing a strange, aggressive growl, Maple turned around. Standing behind her were three lumbering monsters. Each of the creatures carried a small axe in one muscular hand. Their bodies were some unholy fusion of a rabbit and a lizard, pumped with enough muscles to make any male jealous. The ears of the monsters stood tall, but their bodies were hunched over as they growled and snarled at Maple.

"Cool!" the girl exclaimed. "What kind of creatures are you?" A quick check on her HUD gave her an answer. "Ruin Kobold Trooper? That's a fancy name. That must mean you're powerful."

The kobolds snarled. They raised their hand axes as they charged forward, their muscular tails lashing in anticipation.

Maple smiled. She planted her shield in front of her as she placed a hand on the sheath she kept strapped to the back of her waist. The sheathe carried a tanto, a blade whose length was too long to be considered a knife but rather short even for a short sword. It was a part of the armor set she got from slaying the Hydra. As Maple had no attack power, the tanto was largely useless for cutting down opponents. However, that was not the only benefit of the blade.

The Ruin Kobold Trooper roared as they jumped forward. A glow covered their hand axes as they activated their sword skills.

Maple was surprised but remained steadfast in her actions. In one motion, she drew her tanto from its sheath and yelled, "Paralyze Shout!"

The glow from the three kobolds' axes dimmed as the monsters crashed to the ground. The huffed and howled, grunted and growled, but no matter how much they strained, they could barely twitch their bodies.

"That worked perfectly!" Maple declared happily, sheathing the blade and holstering it in its usual place. "Now… I could use Hydra, but to be honest, I want to know what you taste like." She stepped towards the nearest Kobold with a hungry expression on her face.

The kobold whimpered. It was unsure if it was programmed to feel any emotion besides rage, but in that moment, it felt like a helpless puppy facing a horrifying creature that words could only fail to describe.

The monster stepped forward, opened its maw, and leaned into the kobold's terrifying face.

Maple gave a small burp as she patted her stomach. The kobolds had tasted surprisingly decent. A bit sour, but they had a very warm flavor that felt strangely filling. The texture was very reminiscent of a combination between fish and chicken.

"Delicious," Maple said with a content sigh. She pulled herself to her feet and picked up her shield. "Time to find some more monsters."

Maple wasn't sure how long she spent wandering the labyrinth she found herself in. The paved stones seemed to go on forever. She guessed that she had taken over a dozen staircases by now, but she still couldn't find the surface.

"I wonder if I'm under some mountain?" she said to herself.

A Kobold jumped from the shadows and struck the back of her head. Maple absentmindedly tapped it with her shield, not even looking back as the monster was ripped into essence and swallowed into her shield.

"Why is there only one type of monster?" she wondered. While the kobolds at first had been very exciting, they had lost their appeal by the fourth floor. She barely bothered to eat them at this point, as the flavor had already worn down on her taste buds.

Another duo of kobolds came rushing at Maple from out of the darkness.

"Paralyze Shout!"

Observing the twitching rabbit-lizards, Maple debated her next move. "This is probably a secret dungeon," she reasoned. "Maybe the reason that there's so many of these kobolds is because they're the key to getting to the boss room. If that's the case…" A grin spread out on her face as she looked down at her two victims. "I shouldn't waste perfectly good food."

A quick meal later, Maple received a notification. "Kobold Eater. Earned by eating 100 kobolds without taking damage. Kobolds take fifty percent extra damage from you and deal half damage to you," she read out loud. A confused frown crossed her face. "That sounds super specific. And it's not as good as Hydra Eater." To someone who's primary role was taking damage, Hydra Eater's immunity to poison and paralysis was invaluable. Damage bonuses against kobolds… less so. At least the damage resistance would come in handy, assuming she found a kobold that could actually harm her in the first place.

"Maybe the boss around here is a kobold?" Maple hazarded a guess. That'd been the only monster type she'd run into, after all. Shrugging, she continued on her merry way, humming an upbeat tune as she went.

* * *

Trailing behind the raid party, Kirito heard the sound of a kobold's dying scream echoing from somewhere behind them. This was unusual for two reasons. First, their raid group was the only ones who had any interest of being this deep in the labyrinth. Any player with the skills to be this close to the boss room should have already been with the group.

The second reason was that the sound of the kobold's scream was wrong. Normally they screamed in fury and defiance, like a furious animal that wanted to take down its opponent with it. These kobold screams had the wrong tone. They were chilling, haunting. The shrill notes they reached weren't the furious howls of dying predator, but the tortured screams of prey being eaten alive.

Kirito couldn't help but shiver. Whatever terrifying monster was causing those kobolds to make that horrifying sound, he wanted nothing to do with it.


	2. Illfang Arc: Part 2

A group of about thirty players trudged through the Labyrinth of the first floor. Any monster unfortunate to come across their group was quickly dispatched without fanfare. Every person in this raid group was over-leveled for the area, but that did not make them reckless. Death in this world caused death in the real world, and they all knew that. This knowledge made everyone take the march with the epitome of seriousness.

The large group came at a stop at a set of large doors. Their leader stepped forward.

"This is the room of the first Floor Boss!" Diavel announced. He was blue haired young man, dressed in blue clothes and brown armor. A small white kite shield was strapped to his back, and a simple longsword hung from his waist. "As we discussed earlier, groups A, B, and C will rotate through the boss's attacks. Groups D, E, and F will be responsible for keeping the minions busy."

Thirty pairs of eyes looked back at him. Some were solemn. Some were tense. Some were resigned. But all of them carried a spark of determination. They were trapped, yes, and their captor had power they couldn't hope to match. But everyone knew that rats were most dangerous when cornered. If the only way to escape the game was to beat it, then they were going to win or die trying.

Preferably without the dying, obviously.

"Everyone, make your final preparations," Diavel advised. "Then, we will slay Illfang and clear this floor!" Diavel pumped his fist in the air, and his company followed with loud cheers.

Everyone double checked their inventories, making sure that whatever potions or backup weapons they had on hand were ready to go. Players gave each other final words of encouragement.

It was time to face the strongest monster on the First Floor.

"Hello!"

Heads immediately snapped as every player looked over their shoulder. Walking down the a previously empty hallway was a little girl with large shield. At least, that's what the raid party noticed first. As the girl came closer, light from the bowls of fire that were mounted on either side of the boss room illuminated her in more detail. The girl's armor was very different from their own. While most people had plain, partial sets of armor, the girl had a full armor set with a matching shield. The armor was black with red accents, and had a sheen that stood out compared to everyone else's low leveled gear. The tower shield that she carried was tall enough to cover her from the neck down. Its color scheme was the same as her armor, and it had a red diamond on its upper center.

The innocent smile the little girl wore on her face did little to set the group at ease.

"What's another player down here?"

"She's a little girl."

"Where did she get that fancy gear?"

"I bet you she's one of those dirty beta testers!"

The smiling girl skipped up the party. "Hi, my name's Maple! Is there an event going on?" she asked.

One of the players snorted. "Yeah, we're taking down the boss and getting to the next floor," he said. The other players cheered in agreement.

"That sounds cool!" Maple exclaimed. "Can I come along?"

The nearest players looked uncertain. While they needed all the help they could get, this girl was a complete unknown. She had some wicked-looking armor, which could have only come from a unique quest, but she also looked twelve years old.

The crowd parted as Diavel made his way towards Maple. "What's your level, Maple?" he asked with a patient smile.

"Um… let me check." Maple hurriedly checked her HUD. "Yay! I reached level ninet-th." Maple's response was cut off as she accidently bit her tongue.

"Hm… your level's a bit low, but it should be fine," Diavel said, not noticing Maple's mishap.

Diavel himself was level eleven, and while most people were at least level ten, he didn't think Maple would hold the group back as a level nine. In fact, given her gear, she probably was as strong as he was. "I'm guessing you're a tank?" While he used the word 'guess', it was the most obvious assumption to make. A damage dealer wouldn't carry around a tower shield large enough to cover ninety percent of their body.

"Oh, um, yes!" Lost in her fluster, Maple forgot to correct Diavel about her level. "I'm a Heavy Shielder!"

"She's acting like there's an actual class system," one player joked quietly. His friends laughed as well, but they kept it quiet so Maple wouldn't overhear. It didn't stop a few glares from being sent their way.

"Where are my manners, I forgot to introduce myself," Diavel said apologetically. "I'm Diavel, a knight, and the leader of this raid party."

"Wow!" Stars gleamed in Maple's eyes. "You must be very strong!"

"I do my best," Diavel replied. He, just like everyone present, wished to be was stronger. If only he had managed to get the unique Anneal Blade from that quest before a certain _someone_ nabbed it. "Now, as for where to put you… Hm. Most of our groups are already confirmed, and I don't want to break up their synergy."

Maple's expression took a sharp nosedive as a cloud of depression formed over her head. Diavel waved his hands and hastily assured her, "Don't worry, we have one group that should be able to take you. Group F only has two members and they'll be fighting minions. I'm sure they could use the help of a tank in their group."

"Really?" Maple asked excitedly, her mood taking a full one-eighty as a smile broke across her face.

"Certainly," Diavel said. "You don't mind one more person, do you Kirito?"

The aforementioned boy stepped out of the shadows against the wall. His gear was as unremarkable as the rest of the group, except for the precious Anneal Blade sheathed on his back. "I don't mind," he said with a shrug. "How about you?" he asked the cloaked companion who was standing next to him.

"Do what you want," was the soft response. The voice was female, and her tone was disinterest.

Maple did not pick up on the apathetic responses of her new teammates and strode towards them with all of her non-existent agility. "I'll be in your care!"

"Sure," Kirito replied slowly. "As Diavel said, I'm Kirito, and I guess I'm the party leader. If you two don't mind?"

"Asuna," the cloaked girl said. "And I don't mind. I'm new to this."

"Sounds good to me!" Maple said cheerily. "I'm also new!"

Kirito nodded. While he didn't particularly care to lead, he was the only person who had played SAO before. Unless either of the girls had surprising leadership capabilities, it would have been strange if he _wasn't_ calling the shots. "I guess I don't need to ask this, but you know how to hold hate, right?" the swordsman asked Maple.

"I don't hate anything," Maple replied. "Except green peppers, they taste terrible!"

A couple of nearby players snickered at the girl's ignorance.

Kirito was starting to realize the predicament he was in. "I'm guessing you haven't played a VRMMO before?"

"Nope! This is my first!"

Kirito's hand imprinted the front of his face and slid off very slowly. First Asuna, and now Maple. He was being paired with people who didn't even know the basics. At least Maple had some unique gear he'd never seen before. That meant she rather was really good at finding hidden quests, or she was _ridiculously_ lucky.

It was most likely the former. After all, luck could only carry someone so far before they met the harsh truths of reality.

"Just make sure the monsters' attention is focused on you so the two of us can attack," said Kirito. "And make sure you don't take too much damage in the process."

"Don't worry!" Maple said confidently. "I invested all of my points into Vitality, so nothing can kill me!"

A hush fell over the entire raid party.

It was impossible.

It was inconceivable.

It was…

"STUPID!" one person shouted. "Everyone knows that Vitality is a dump stat!"

"But with all my points in Vitality, I don't get hurt, so I don't die," said Maple.

Some of the surrounding players looked at her with skepticism, but decided that it wasn't worth their time. They weren't the ones stuck working with the noob in fancy armor.

Kirito sighed. "Vitality sounds like a good stat, especially for a tank, but it's deceptively useless," he explained. "Health does not scale Vitality, so all it does is raise your overall resistance to damage. However, the percentile damage reduction is so small that even tanks only use it because heavy armor makes Agility a pretty useless investment. Some people, like Diavel, opt to use smaller shields and medium armor so they can use both Strength and Agility while still being able to take hits for the players who specialize in damage."

Maple wondered why he wasn't mentioning the other stats like Dexterity or MP, but assumed they weren't as important for tanking. "So what's wrong with high Vitality?" she asked. "I don't have any strength or agility, but I don't die!"

Asuna also looked to Kirito curiously. After all, taking less damage is always good, right?

"Because if you equip heavy armor without the required Strength, you suffer a huge penalty to Agility," Kirito replied. "If you didn't invest in Agility either, that means you're not a tank, but a wall. You might take less damage than anyone else, but you can't move fast enough to protect people, and you also can't threaten the enemy at all." He gave Maple a strange look. "How did you manage to level up this far without any attack damage?" he asked.

"I hit monsters with my shield, sat on them, and devoured them."

Asuna stared.

Kirito stared.

Maple blinked.

"You _ate_ them?" Asuna asked incredulously.

"That too," Maple responded. "The Ruin Kobold Troopers tasted kind of sour, but they weren't too bad."

"I don't know if that's new or no one else tried it before," Kirito said with a sigh. "Eating monsters, who would have thought?"

"Disgusting," Asuna muttered as a shiver traveled down her spine.

A clang of steel brought their attention to the doors of the Boss Room, where Diavel was standing with his shield and sword in hand. "It's time for us to beat the first-floor boss and make it to the next floor!" he declared. "Players, let's go!"

Shouts of victory and conquest followed as the doors were pushed open. The room was dark at first, but as Diavel led the charge forward, the entire room brightened. It was designed like a large, open throne room, with large pillars reaching towards the high-vaulted ceiling. The colors were bright and cheery; not what one would expect from a boss room.

At the other end of the room, a large, red, fat Kobold sat on a throne that was barely able to fit its hindquarters. As the players stepped closer the monster rose from its throne. The name above its head read _Illfang, the Kobold Lord_.

"I knew it was a kobold," Maple quietly cheered.

"Everyone knew. It was on the guidebook," said Kirito. Seeing Maple's confused expression, he asked, "Did you read the guidebook?"

"There's a guidebook?"

Kirito resisted the urge to facepalm. It was clear that despite Maple's gear and level, she had absolutely no clue what she was doing. It was a miracle she had managed to survive the death game for as long as she had.

Illfang roared and jumped forward, brandishing an axe and round shield. It wore very little armor, with only a loin cloth, shin and knee guards, and a helmet to serve as protection. In flashes of light, three armored kobolds appeared. They were _Ruin Kobold Sentinels_ , and resembled the _Ruin Kobold Troopers_ that roamed the rest of the Labyrinth. Aside from their armor, the only other difference was their choice in weapons. Two wielded two-handed maces, while the other was equipped with a halberd.

"Attack!" Diavel commanded as he pointed his sword towards the monsters.

The players split into their formations as they charged forward. The monsters charged forward to meet them.

"Remember, we're on minion duty," Kirito reminded the two girls of his party. "Illfang spawns new minions periodically, so we have to go through them fast so we don't get overwhelmed. Maple, call 'Switch' when you want one of us to attack. Try to distract them as best you can."

"Got it!" Maple was determined. It was time to put her new armor and skill to the test.

_Beware kobolds, for the true Boss has arrived._

**Quest [Defeat Illfang the Kobold Lord]**

**Yes/No**

**YES/No**

**Quest Accepted**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back at it with another chapter!
> 
> This arc should end by chapter 5. I'm not sure if I want to continue the story after that point, but I did design it to be able to be stretched farther. We'll see what happens.
> 
> As always, leave a comment! Remember, comments are food for a writer's soul!


	3. Illfang Arc: Part 3

"Switch!" Kirito called out as he leapt out of the way of his opponent's attack. The Ruin Kobold Sentinel's mace impacted the boss room floor with a loud clang of steel against stone.

Asuna quickly jabbed the kobold's chest with a _Linear_ before darting out of its attack range. "Switch!" she called out.

"Okay!" Maple called out as she walked towards the kobold. Evidently, it didn't see her as much of a threat, as it ignored Maple in favor of chasing Asuna. "Hey! Come back here!"

"I've got it!" Kirito called. He flanked the kobold's exposed side and used _Horizontal_ to rip into its torso. The Kobold squealed as it turned its attention to the swordsman. "We have to stay closer to Maple so she can attract the monster's without having to chase it. Switch!"

To demonstrate, Kirito ran past Maple as he retreated. This allowed her to easily step in the Kobold's path and hold up her shield. The monster raised its mace over its head, but Maple stood firm in its path.

"Devour!"

The kobold's mace crashed against Maple's shield. Despite the armored girl being merely half the size of her opponent, she was not budged by the attack.

Then, the unexpected happened.

The kobold's two-handed mace, a weapon powerful and sturdy enough to send a player's health into the yellow zone if its swing connected, shattered into polygons. A small gap in Maple's shield opened, sucking in the data fragments before closing with a content hiss. The kobold stared at its empty hands dumbly, unable to comprehend the loss of its weapon.

Kirito and Asuna were equally confused, but Kirito knew better than to let an opportunity to pass him by. He slashed the kobold's arm at the elbow, exploiting a weak point in the armor to deal critical damage, before decapitating it with a _Horizontal_. Only after its body crumbled into polygons did the boy turn to Maple and ask, "What kind of skill was that?!"

"Devour," Maple replied. "It's a skill I have for my shield. Pretty cool, right?"

"You have a skill that devours monster's weapons?" Asuna asked incredulously. "That sounds incredibly strong."

"That's not what it normally does," said Maple, looking over her shield with curiosity. The skill was supposed to absorb enemies, not their weapons.

Kirito incorrectly assumed that the skill's usefulness was usually on the opposite side of the spectrum. "What matters is that we can exploit this," he said. "Asuna, it looks like you're the fastest of us. Can you attract the minion that spawns towards Maple? Once its weapon is destroyed, killing it should be easy."

Asuna nodded slowly.

When Illfang summoned a new set of Ruin Kobold Sentinels, Asuna immediately engaged the nearest one. Its attacks weren't slow, but they were heavily telegraphed. She was easily able to stay just out of its range as she guided it towards her party. 'Switch!"

As Asuna danced away, Maple stepped forward, her shield held at the ready. As the kobold attacked, she called out, "Devour!" The kobold's mace shattered against Maple's impregnable defense.

Kirito could swear that the hiss the shield made was a sigh of contentment.

"Switch!" Maple called out.

Kirito struck first, slashing twice before switching with Asuna, who struck with a sword skill. Kirito then used his own sword skill, covering the end lag of Asuna's own skill, to finish the opponent. "This feels entirely too easy," he said.

"Really?" Maple asked. "I've never done this before."

"We're certainly doing better than the other two groups," Asuna commented.

The other two minion clearing groups had five and six members respectively. Despite having double the numbers, they were having a much more difficult time with their opponent. Their attacks were mostly glancing off ineffectively against the sentinel's heavy armor. They were taking care not to get in each other's way, but their switches were too slow to give any meaningful openings.

"Asuna, you're one of, if not _the_ , fastest person I've seen in this game," Kirito deadpanned. "And Maple…"

Maple tilted her head curiously, waiting for him to finish.

"…you're very strong too."

"Thanks!" Maple beamed. "But I actually didn't invest any points in Strength."

Kirito decided against correcting her as a watched another set of Kobold spawn. "That's strange," he remarked.

"What is it?" Asuna asked.

"The minions are supposed to respawn every time Illfang loses a health bar," Kirito said as he readied his Anneal Blade. "But the other groups are only halfway through Illfang's second health bar. The minions are spawning too quickly."

"What do we do?" Asuna asked.

The newly spawned Kobolds split up. One headed towards the party of three, another headed towards one of the preoccupied groups, and the last charged to where the main raid groups were fighting the boss.

Kirito made a quick analysis of the situation. Maple's health still looked to be full, despite the hits she had tanked. "Maple, lockdown this one," he commanded, indicating the Kobold that was conveniently charging at them. "Asuna, you and I will get the hate of the stragglers and kite them towards Maple. We don't need to solo them; we just need to peel long enough for the other groups to rotate in."

Maple and Asuna looked at him with blank expressions.

In his haste, Kirito had forgotten that he was dealing with complete noobs. "Maple, deal with the one charging us. Asuna, grab the one heading towards the boss fight groups, and I'll take the last one. We lead them to Maple and hold on until help comes."

"Let's go!" Maple cheered.

"On it!" Asuna affirmed.

With a warcry, Maple powerwalked to the nearest enemy kobold. Instead of directly attacking Maple's shield, the monster swung its weapon at an angle. Maple tried to correct for the block, but the attack was too fast. The head of the halberd swung around the shield and crashed into Maple's arm.

Maple let out a sigh of relief as the attack bounced off harmlessly. "You scared me for a second."

The kobold sentinel didn't care for Maple's attempt to converse. It loudly shrieked as it struck again, but this time, its opponent was ready. Maple leaned back and let the halberd slam into her shield. This made her footing unsteady, so she fell to the ground. In return, the kobold's weapon was destroyed.

Undeterred, the kobold tried punching Maple, but she cowered behind her shield. The first punch consumed the kobold's arm up the elbow. The monster tried grabbing the shield and pulling it to the side, only to be faced by Maple's tanto.

"Hiya!" Maple cried as she stabbed her blade into its chest. Or at least, she tried to. The blade skidded off the kobold's armor without leaving a scratch. The kobold swiped its claws across Maple's face, knocking her to the ground.

"Ow!" Maple instinctively cried. Then, she realized, "Oh, that didn't hurt. Yay, Vitality!"

The monster seemed enraged by her celebration and struck Maple with its remaining arm. This time, Maple was able to block the attack with her shield, which promptly devoured the offending limb.

"I've got you now!" Maple declared. She held her shield close to her chest as she rammed into the monster.

* * *

Kirito slid back from the force of deflecting the kobold's attack. Parrying was great for reducing damage, but his strength wasn't high enough to negate the damage completely. Allowing himself to be knocked back reduced how much damage he took, but it made his footing unsteady. This made it harder for him to retaliate and easier for his opponent to press its advantage.

Kirito forced to parry again as the monster swung its mace. Quickly, he glanced to survey the battlefield. Asuna was doing an excellent job kiting her monster towards maple. While she didn't appear to be doing any damage to it, her health bar was hovering around 80%, compared to Kirito's 70%. Given that he put effort into upgrading his _Battle Healing_ skill, that meant she had taken about half as much damage as him. For a noob, that was extremely impressive.

Maple's bar was still sitting at a perfect 100%. Even with max Vitality, Kirito was surprised that she hadn't taken any damage at all. While she had little skill working as a party, she must have been a formidable solo fighter.

As Kirito let himself get pushed back once more, he took a glance toward Maple to see how she was managing to avoid taking damage.

Maple was lying atop a Kobold's body, pressing her shield into its chest. Both of its arms were gone, as was its weapon. The monster howled in anger and anguish as pixels were ripped out of its chest due to exposure from the shield. To top it off, Maple was sinking her teeth into the kobold's exposed flesh where its armor had already been eaten away. She barely took the time to swallow the evaporating pixels before going for another bite.

Kirito shuddered. That mental image would forever haunt his mind.

A grunt from Kirito's own kobold alerted Kirito that he still had his own trouble. He guided the kobold towards Maple, noticing in the corner of his eye that her opponent broke into polygons only a few seconds later. By the time he reached Maple, she was applying the same treatment to Asuna's kobold as the older girl watched in nauseating horror.

"Switch!" he called out as he deflected the kobold's mace.

Asuna welcomed the distraction. She dove and hit the kobold with a sword skill, before calling for Kirito to switch in. The two rotated their attacks until the monster finally burst into polygons.

They turned to see Maple devouring the last of the kobold, her health bar still completely full.

"I don't get it," Kirito commented. He wasn't sure if he should be in awe or horrified. "I'm seeing it, but I don't understand."

"Are you supposed to eat monsters in this game?" Asuna asked shakily. "I don't remember seeing that in the manual."

"I… have no idea," Kirito replied as he watched Maple lick her lips and burp contently, a sound that was echoed by her shield. He would need to ask Argo once the boss fight was over. Nothing in the Beta had suggested that monsters could be eaten as a way to deal damage, but then again, he doubted anyone else had tried.

When Maple grinned and waved at the two of them, they could only offer hesitant waves and half-smiles back. While they didn't want to make their party member depressed…

She was currently the most terrifying person in the room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pfft. Kirito and Asuna are scared of that little show? Maple hasn't even gotten all of her skills yet, and she hasn't used the best of her current arsenal.
> 
> Stay tuned for more moe monster-eating action.

**Author's Note:**

> This is a story I'm doing for low-stress writing. Technically, crossing over these two universes would have huge issues with Cardinal, Aincrad being a death game, NewWorld having broken balance, etc. However, we're going to ignore all that and just enjoy Maple doing Maple things while turning Aincrad on its head.


End file.
